Now Serving Number 663 Of The Beast, Day 120 in The Year of Guh-Aaaaaagggghhhh, Ka-Lump.

Now Serving Number 663 Of The Beast, Day 120 in The Year of Guh-Aaaaaagggghhhh, Ka-Lump.

1. Stop Being Wilt Chamberlain’s Beard.

2. Emetophobiamania Is Sweeping The Nation.

3. Planet of The Contempl-Apes: Man Evolves Into Hairy Chimps, Thinks Self Out Of Existence.

Comic Book Day is Saturday, Visit YFLCBS for free comics.

Tomorrow starts Movie May, A movie a day to fill out cult movie absences.

Serving Decaf At The End of The World, Day 118, Waiting For End of The Fun.

Serving Decaf At The End of The World, Day 118,
Waiting For End of The Fun.

1. Hug A Stranger Too Tight Day.

2. Have Brain Rescraped.

3. Buy D. Pression Gold Watch for Lifetime of Service.

If you only abuse one person today, let it be yourself.

The Quiet Minute in A Mike Bay Movie, Day 115, Some Pain in The Year of Fun.

The Quiet Minute in A Mike Bay Movie, Day 115, Some Pain in The Year of Fun.

1. Craft Tweet to Crash/Save The Market.

2. April Showers Brings May to the Window.

3. Take Ocarina of Time to Zelda Fitzgerald. Great Ganon, Gatsby!

Today’s YoF brought to you by random Google searches.

Fake Products for The Real World, Day 114, The Fake Plastic Tree of Fun.

Fake Products for The Real World, Day 114, The Fake Plastic Tree of Fun.

1. LiveBulk–An Unjustly Enriched Powdered Protein Shake Blend, The Breakfast of One-Balled Champions.

2. Lip Service–A Boutique Experience for Your Box. Vajazzeling, Rejuvenation And Lasers.
Now With 50 Percent More Robots.

3. #1stworldproblemsolvers–First World Problem Solving At A First World Prices.
‘Just Buy Another One.’

The Oldest Day in The Year of Fun, Day 112 Wheezes Across The Finish Line And Collapses.

The Oldest Day in The Year of Fun, Day 112 Wheezes Across The Finish Line And Collapses.

1. Trade in Suicide Vest For An InVESTment in Sue’s Cider.

2. Close Eyes and Let The Tinnitus Transform The World Into A Live Radio Show.

3. Off The ‘Zesty’ List Today:
–Pepper Jack.
–Salad Dressing.
–Cheap Salsa.
–Redheads.

Bad Pop Culture Today: Netflix’s Hemlock Grove. The only show run through Google Translate into a foreign language and back to English before air.

Today Can Be Lived Forward or Backward, Day 111 in Nuf fo Raey Eht.

Today Can Be Lived Forward or Backward, Day 111 in Nuf fo Raey Eht.

1. Fish Monger The Fear.

2. Re-decide What You Decided Yesterday. Repeat Every Day With Ads In Finite Tums.

3. Do Something Massively Stupid.
There, Now You’ve Got Something to Do.
(Fix/Think About That Massively Stupid Thing You Done Just Did.)

Your Recommended Daily Allowance of Warm Ice Cream Soup, Day 110 in The Fun Fun.

Your Recommended Daily Allowance of Warm Ice Cream Soup, Day 110 in The Fun Fun.

1. Retract Moratoriums on 420/Hitler’s Birthday Jokes.

2. Wow, That Hitler Must Have Been Stoned ALL THE TIME, huh?
(Reinstate Moratorium.)

3. What Am I Radicalizing Today?
–Hairdo.
–Supper.
–A Foreign Baby.
–My Mood.
–Fingernails.
–Stories About The End of The World.
–Hitler/420-Related Doritos Jokes.

Remember, only you can prevent, um, that for which you have direct or indirect ‘preventing’ control.
Or forest fires.