Because Six Billion People Can’t All Be Famous, Day 140, One Yen of Fun.

1. Market ‘Who Will You Be After The Personality-Altering Head Injury?’ Bracelet. (WWYBATP-AHI?)

2. Decode Subtext Behind Every Tweet/Post/Text Read Today.
(Clue: Please Love Me.)

3. The Major Movers in Today’s Misery Index. (5.37)
–Bowl of Delicious Soup, Up .2
–Neuropathy, Down 1.4
–Slight Buzzy Feeling, Even
–No Shower, Down .7
–Realization Still Alive And Slogging Away, Up 2.1

Markets Are Still Reeling At News of ‘Just Keep On Keepin’ On’ By Analysts. Some Sell-Off, Narcotics Expected Later Today.