The Cute Cartoon Face of Hemorrhoids, Day 175, Rectal Leakage in The Year of Fun.

1. I’ll Do It Just as Soon as My Desire for an Early Heart Attack Supersedes My Hatred of Racism.–How I Covered Myself in Butter and Became A Paula Deeniac.

2. Capture, Raise and Mutate Zombie Master Ant into Man-Sized Zombie Master Ant.

3. Point and Scream at Everyone You Meet Today, “I’ve Forgiven You! I’ve Forgiven You!” Before Slamming a Door.

Second Monday in a row I’ve gotten Zero sleep and threw up when I got outta bed. I may be pregnant. Call a reality show.