This Skin I’m In is Retro, I Mean Loose, Day 212, Shar Pied in The Year of Fun.
1. I’m Probably Not The Best Judge of Me. — Yet Another Clone Dilemma.
2. Reshoe Tiny Spiders Creeping Around My Corneas. Neon. Maybe a ‘Choose Life’ T. Stupid Spiders and Their ’80’s Nostalgia.
3. Dear Meteorologist,
You Are Such an Inspiration. So Inspired, I’m Going to Weather College and Learn More Than You, Shouldn’t Be Long,
Repressed Angry Letters.
Day 211 of That Thing.
1. Let Information Be Free So Individuals Can Be Imprisoned. Transparency Behind Bars Über Alles. — Our Trusted Pretend Leaders.
2. Also, Let Spell Check and Autofill Be Correct Day.
3. Just Once, I’d Like to Finish ONE SIMPLE TASK Without Interruption, Diversion, Distraction, Brain Sabotage, Hand Shenanigans, The Surging Numbness, The Way Things Are, The Way Things Were, Time Travel, Cognitive Dissonance, Regular Sonance, Over Reach, Under the Dumb, Boulder Holding, Amnesia, Forgetfulness, Panic Attacks, Spaniel Attacks, Espanyol Attacks, 123 OCD, Why Why Why Why, Cornelius, Space Craft Over Head, Personal and Public Armageddons, Sleepyness, Sleepy-erness, Bug-Eyed Hyperactivity, The Other Thing, List Making And So On.
Today sucked hard, tomorrow my mouth will be dry.
A Regular Palindrome The Way Day 209 is a Number Palindrome, A Beautiful Mine in The Year of Fun.
1. “More Like Em-Pathetic, Will.” — Hannibal on The Lil Hannibal Cooking Circus! (1972) (NBC)
2. Still, Jarts Were A Lot of Fun.
3. Someday, In an Act of Goodwill by TPTB, America Will Have Our First Staycation President Just Like Other European Countries. — Bizarro Fox News.
Permanently Stuck at Six Percent, Day 208, Not Charging in The Year of Fun.
1. Apparently, All My Bright Ideas for Inventions Today were Invented Decades Ago:
A Duel 33/45 RPM Tube System for Home Stereo Turntables,
Putting Mint in Stuff,
The Pythagorean Theorem,
Cheese-Blasted Mac ‘N Cheese with Cheese.
2. However, I Still have Regrets about The Not Bright Ideas. — The Regetateers.
3. Why Don’t You Understand Me? I Just Need Someone to Understand Me! — An Exhaustive Guide to Every Character in Every Independent Comedy of the Last 20 Years. (I Me Mine Press) (2005)
Trying to write or think after True Blood and all I have is that horrible Hep V aftertaste. Too many stupid Vampire Bill jokes and my brain has taken a walk in the sun. Thanks, TB.
Snake Eyes on a Seven Sided Die, Day 207, Pushing Your Luck in The Year of Pips.
1. It’s Not One-Upmanship, It’s Making You Feel Better About Your Life.
2. Fun New Game: Chupacabra or House Pet.
3. Phone-A-Friend: For a Small Pre-Paid Fee, Our Phone ‘Yes Men’ Will Agree to Any Question Asked on a Phone Call. Good for: Alibis, Bar Bets and Other Situations Involving an Outside Expert. (Disclaimer: For Entertainment Purposes Mostly.)
The 3-D Rotoscoped CGI Photo Realistic Charlie Brown, Day 206, Great, Not Good, Grief in The Year of Fun.
1. ‘The Right Way to Anywhere’ — The GPS System for People Too Lazy or Panicky to Make A Left-Hand Turn.*
2. Contact The Silver Fox Surfer with The Harmonic Convergence of Neuropathy in Fingers and Toes.
3. Monopoly 2021:
Three Minutes to Play with Added ‘Businessman’s Friend’ Expansion. (A Cornucopia of Wall Street Grade Cocaine.)
All Digital: Board, Pieces, Money, Concepts, Identity Theft, Family Arguments.
Properties Mostly Just Disney Teen Stars, Infomercial Products.
Poorer Players Can’t Pass Go, Deal with The Bank or Draw Any Trust Fund Chest Cards. The Poorest Player is Always the Blinged-Out Cell Phone.
Physical Doritos — The Name of Taco Bell Monopoly Tie-In.
Game Still Boring. Really, Really Boring.
Apparently, part of the plot of the new Wolverine movie, Wolverine has to decide to stop being immortal. First off, totally relatable. Second, I’d take a century or two to decide, no rush.
*Who hasn’t cancelled a trip due to crossing more than one lane of traffic to get there? Right? right? Stupid doctor, right?
The Ten Thousand Evaporated Corpses of James T. Kirk, Day 205 Beaming Down The Year of Red Shirts.
1. Rope-A-Dope-On-A-Soap-Pocket-Pope-Pop-Popeil. 23 Skidoo. Hepcats.
2. Let’s Bring Back The Good Old Fashioned Squirrel Rodeo!
3. The Salad Days for Roto Rooter Men:
The 1980’s for The Big Hair and Porn Tie-Ins.
The 1960’s for The Big Hair and Plumbing ‘Advances.’
New Jersey — All Times Since Incorporation.
I don’t think I can single-handedly bring back out-dated slang.
1. Today Counts as a Sick Day.
2. Today Still Counts as a Sick Day.
3. This Week on Carlos Danger, Third Eye:
The 3rd Eye Probes The Sexting Senator.
Today counts as a sick day.
The Hillbilly Royalty of Animal Farm, Day 203, Piggy Wiggling in The Year of Fam.
1. “It’s A Boy! We Don’t Have to Drown Him!” — Other Kings, Civilizations.
2. Walk Around Making Pronouncements Like Holly Hunter in Top of The Lake.*
3. Q: I Got More Troubles Than (Blank) Got (Blank). Use The CIA Fact Book to Answer.
*Your Body is Intelligent. It Knows More Than You. Listen to Your Body. LISTEN!!! (Sip Herbal Tea. Adjust Wig.)
I hear The Royal Baby really loves Chili-Blasted Funyuns and subjugation. And high contrast photos.
A Road Traveled, Day 203, Frosting the Year of Fun.
1. Is It Ragnarök Yet?
2. Random Crying Monday.
3. Last Chance to Guess Royal Baby Name and Win Money.
Nike Allegra (3:2)
Nike Allegra w/Paid Forehead Tattoo (1:1)
Wellington Q. Fancypants (3:1)
Bread & Circuses, Twins. (5:2)
Zzzxxac C. Rolfington the Fifth (11,500:1)
I’m going with Zzzxxac C. Rolfington. Especially after I saw Princess Kate put money on it at the OTB.
The Fuzzy Gap Between White Noise and Muzak, Day 2-Ought-2 in The Year of Fun.
1. “Where Are All the Little Bowls With Everything Cut Up?” — The Dumb Joke I Say Every Time I Start to Cook…Human Brains! (Second Dumb Joke I Say Every Time I Start to Cook Human Brains.)
2. Hypnosis Monday — You Will Act All Day As If You Just Won The Lottery And Were A Chicken Simultaneously!
3. Summah So Hot, I Think The Stove is Always On.
Orange is The New Black really taps into the zeitgeist.
Random Beck Lyric, Day 201, Second Random Beck Lyric in The Year of Fun.
1. “Thanks to The Trayvon Martin Trial, A Crazy Hot Summer, and White Guilt, Nobody’s Talking About Us Anymore…We’re Having Our Biggest Year Yet!” — Connecticut Chiggers.
2. Talk to Grandma About Comicon. Cosplay Gasoline Alley.
3. Thanks designed for sharing such a pleasant idea, paragraph is fastidious, thats why
i have read it completely*
Pop Culture Today: Upstream Color, just out on Netflix Streaming from Primer’s Shane Carruth. See it. See it without knowing anything at all about it. Don’t even read Netflix’s description. I’m probably wrong in my interpretation.
*Actual Spam/Compliment received today on a post I wrote over a year ago. May all your paragraphs be fastidious.