11 Bucks and A College Degree, Day 221, So Millennial in The Year of Fun.

11 Bucks and A College Degree, Day 221, So Millennial in The Year of Fun.

1. Lil Dijon, The French Children’s Rapper. Premise Supplied, You Supply the Lyric. (I’m Tired)

2. Busy, But Still Want to Get to Heaven? The Quarter Church, Only Once a Month for Double the Tithe. — The Quarter Church Promotional Materials (1996).

3. 1DamnThing.com — The Site/App to Catalog/Share the One Damn Thing You Did Today That Wasn’t Just Work or Empty Pursuit, Something That May Actually Be Productive. #1DT

These Two Songs in This Order:

Today’s 1DT: I mowed the lawn. Not much more. Still, it’s one damn thing I did today.

Day 220 on A Friday this Year.

Day 220 on A Friday this Year.

1. Scrap Artery Wall for Delicious Cheese.

2. Start Twitter Feed with Only “The Person Below” Accounts So My Feed is One Giant Circle Jerk.

3. Don’t Order the Calamari. — My Advice to Any Character in a Cronenberg Movie (David or Brandon).

More Praise from My Large Spam Following:

New comment on your post “Bitten By A Jelly Fish in The Sea of Possibility, Day ’93, Oh, The Years of Fun”
Author : equipo contra incendio (IP: 5.144.176.135 , 5.144.176.135)
E-mail : marcpilcher@hotmail.com
Comment:
Hmm it looks like your blog ate my first comment (it was super long)
so I guess I’ll just sum it up what I had written and say, I’m thoroughly enjoying your blog.
I as well am an aspiring blog blogger but I’m still new to everything. Do you have any recommendations for first-time blog writers? I’d
genuinely appreciate it.

***

Gosh, first off, I’m a blogger, wow, the big leagues! My first piece of advice, drop the Hotmail account, maybe then you wouldn’t be blaming my blog for losing your post. Or maybe I saw it and just didn’t answer, but through sheer passive-aggressiveness you still pin all the blame on me. I’m answering now, jerk.
I gotta idea, aspiring blogger— blog. You know, the ‘duh’ advice every writer says. Write. Read. Work.
Oh, don’t belittle those from whom you’re pretending to get advice.
Just, Write, Read and Work, aspiring blog blogger.

Sorry about being so snippy. Usually my spam praise comments tend to be nicer and contain more non-sequiturs.

B.

Dammit, I’ve Gone Back to Rockville, Day 219, Red Eye Makeup in The Year of Fun.

Dammit, I’ve Gone Back to Rockville, Day 219, Red Eye Makeup in The Year of Fun.

1. If You Think It, Confidence! If You Say It Out Loud, Asshole! — The Confident Asshole.

2. Humidity Flounder — My Micro Budget Sharknado Rip-Off.

3. “Do You Know a Spirit Whose Name Starts With a J, John or Jane?” — Because Ghosts Don’t Know Their Own Gender, Just What Letter Their Name Starts With.*

Rockville is my new, slightly ironic, name for work.

Pure, stupid happy. Sorry if you’ve already seen it. It wasn’t a full-blown meme earlier this morning.

http://on.cc.com/14iIPfI

* J is the second most common starting letter for American names. Up your skills bullshit psychics, A is now the most common. Great luck for overlooked ghosts Andy and Allison.
* “Does She Like to Sing and Dance, Play Basketball and Eat Fried Chicken and Watermelon?” — Racist James Van Praaugh. (Saw him Basically Ask this Question, Fishing for Clues.)

The Section of Town Where All The Houses Are Halfway, Day 218 Relapsing in The Year of Fun.

The Section of Town Where All The Houses Are Halfway, Day 218 Relapsing in The Year of Fun.

1. Go to Breaking Bad Cosplay as Beaver. Ratchet BB Obsession to Near Before Last Season of Lost Levels. Is the Crystal Blue Crash Down Starting? — Craig Bradshaw, Carrie’s Brother. (Nerd in the City) (BBCAmerica)

2. “Yeah Yeah” Day.

3. Nostalgia Today: The Words Zaftig and Zelig. Woody Allen Only Tapped the Surface. They Died in the ’90’s, Sometime After Titanic Jokes. Also, Titanic Jokes.

I guess after all these years, maybe it wasn’t the best idea to get all my career advice from the Talking Head’s song Found A Job.

I was in one of the more upscale used book store (oxymoron?) in downtown Lincoln. You know the place, the kind of place with cats and hipster college students everywhere and the funky smell. The owner was talking to a customer, the idea that you have to love your job and only do jobs you 100 percent love. Cowboys and Ballerinas. He then went on to list all the other small book store owners and their ‘beneficiaries’ that allow them their passion. And I thought that was only broadcasting.

Feeling Guilty About My Lack of Guilt About That Murder of My Mostly Guilty Guilt Feelings, Day 217, Not Innocent in The Year of Fun.

Feeling Guilty About My Lack of Guilt About That Murder of My Mostly Guilty Guilt Feelings, Day 217, Not Innocent in The Year of Fun.

1. Personalizing Today’s News:
Suspend My A-Rod.
Bulger My Whitey.
Terrorize My Embassy. (Red Level)

2. Randomly Follow A Dude Wearing a Suit Day.

3. “Put the Stripper Scene in the Promo, Then Everyone will Think Full Frontal, They’ll Line Up Around the Block” — The Miller’s Marketing Wizard who Thought Anyone was Buying it. (Seeing Jen’s Anistons, That Is)

Some more unsolicited praise from my mostly Spam audience:

“Thanks for the marvelous posting! I genuinely enjoyed reading
it, you happen to be a great author. I will be sure
to bookmark your blog and will come back at some point.
I want to encourage you to ultimately continue your great writing, have a nice
afternoon!”

Thank you and I will! You too!

Only a theme song holds back a truly great religion.

Trying to Make Ramen Out of Dreams, Day 216 Missing the Spice Packet That is The Year of Fun.

Trying to Make Ramen Out of Dreams, Day 216 Missing the Spice Packet That is The Year of Fun.

1. One Last Push to See This Year’s Big Commercials Made to Look Like This Year’s Big Blockbusters. Eliminate “In A World..” From Vocabulary.

2. Renew Lapsed Gold Membership to The Irony Club, Get Money by Any Means Necessary.

3. Why Doesn’t Anyone Talk About the Thing I’m Thinking About Right Now? — A Lot of Conversations. A Lot of the Time.

D215YoF

A Non-Recurring Feeling You Don’t Know How to Feel About, Day 215, Oh, I Don’t Know in the Year of Fun.

1. Find Sixty Degree Basement Room with Calf-High White Shag Carpeting. Strip. Turn off Lights. Make Shag-Carpeting Angels. Relive Childhood.

2. “…But Don’t They Know Dolphins Are Allergic to Birdseed?” — The Comeback I Thought of on the Drive Home from the Wedding.

3. “We Made Something I Like to Call The Pixie Blowdart.” — Billy, Portrait of a Sugar Freak. (ABC Books and Movies, 1980)

214YoF, Summer Rerun Ed.

214YoF, Summer Rerun Ed.

1. “Whenever I See Someone at a Light Texting on Their Phone, I Want to Reach into Their Automobile and Snatch That Phone from Their Hand, Be That Hand Black or Be That Hand White, Brown, Red or Yellow…I’d Snatch That Phone and Smash it on the Ground.” — Petty Martin Luther King.

2. All You Need is Mom and Tums. And an Ent. No, an En. What? Momentum.

3. McDonald’s Playland : Six Flags.
Free Drive-Through Car Wash : ___________
A.) The Log Flume Ride.
B.) Wet ‘N Wild Adventures.
C.) Sadness.
D.) Obesity.
E.) Fraud.
F.) Some of the Above Including This One.
G.) Free Six Flags.
H.) 42.
I.) Whatever You Want.

The difference between tragedy and comedy is often one extra sentence.