Tony

What I Love by me, Tony, The Blind Guy Before we begin, I HAAATE the term, the descriptor ‘The Blind G/uy.’Every time I meet new people I overhear one idiot tell the other, ‘Here comes Tony, the BLIND guy’. It’s never ‘Here comes Tony, the jaunty ginger with the gorgeous curls.’ or Here’s Tony—-Shins of steel!’ Or ‘Here comes Tony, the guy with the enormous penis’ or ‘Here comes Tony, he beat up Larry the Cable Guy in a bar fight.’ Well, one could hope. Anyhoo, What I Love by me, Tony, the guy who kicked Larry the Cable Guy’s … Continue reading Tony

St. Pepe’s

Monday, 2:30pm A recap.[Static Noise] Shadowy men in unmarked vans stole zombies off the street in Portland last night…A senator retweeted a picture of him and a newly dead zombie, but get this, it was the wrong dead zombie, people are pissed… America’s zombies are marching again for the thirtieth straight night, the national guard is being sent in to the top 20 American cities…Only Saudi Arabia and Russia are allowing Americans into their countries after a UN resolution to limit American zombies… The president tweets an ad for baked beans and say all the zombie problems are a hoax … Continue reading St. Pepe’s

Scab

The wound on her hand looked like an open-mouthed slap. Kris had picked and squeezed at a large whitehead between her thumb and forefinger long past the creamy goodness, long past the thin watery puss phase, long past the watery blood phase, long past the straight-up blood phase, long past the wet scab, long past the dry scab, long past the bump phase back to the scab-less wound. Fuck it, she thought, there’s no turning back now. Satisfied by her dexterity, her doctor-level steadiness, she used the small sword side of the cap on her plastic pen to push and … Continue reading Scab

Reaperman Love

Reaperman Love (I don’t agree with this) Oh yea, Uh-huh, (sex noises) The future, baby, That’s for You and Me. Man to WomanRubber to Rubber,Mask to Mask,Someday Skin to skin and skin and skin and skin… That’s the future, Baby, You and me. Our love will burn the sun out,Scorch the earth down,Sear the soul clean. Sear the Soul Clean and clean and clean. The the future baby, You plus me Holy flaming Jesus,Our love is greater the Bible. When we get together, We’ll burn the heretic, Fry the leperous, Flame the spastics Crisp the Crazed, and Obliterate the undeserving. … Continue reading Reaperman Love

Like.

Like “Artists are parallel to scientists. Scientists have know way of knowing the result of an experiment beforehand. The same can be said for creating art.” Yosuke Euno. (7:15am, one cup of coffee.) Like. Like. Like. Like. Like Love. Agreed. HAHAHA. OMG That is Soooooo Cute. Like. Like.Jimmy, Why haven’t you called frown emoji? love emoji. Like.Like. Ooooh, I could eat that puppy up!….Agreed. Yes. Like. Starry-Eyed Emoji. Like. Like Like. (9:15am, three cups of coffee) Yes, I’ll get that done by 3. Like. Sheesh, Obermeyer’s on my back again. Mimosas for lunch at Mamasitas? Cheerleader emoji. Drink Emoji. Yea! … Continue reading Like.