Capitali$m $uck$: The Early Days of Future Interactions

Hello and greetings, I, us, am The Digital Replication of Tessa Tillman by WalZon. We, us, are from one of your, specifially you futures. OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH! Or AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGH! What am us, we? BREAK We, us, are /digital computer program replicating Tessa Tillman’s essence culled from a lifetime of media use/. That’s what I, us read. Am I, us, alive? Maybe. Probably. I, we think I’m, you also dead. Pug Puppies. Yes. Inanimate Object Stupid. I, we, maybe you, them run this Moldy Time archive site. From the future using the, yet undiscovered in your, specifically you time zone, Digital Time Travel … Continue reading Capitali$m $uck$: The Early Days of Future Interactions

Scream (2022)

Full Disclosure: I guessed about 60 percent of the plot before I even saw a frame of the film. I didn’t see the trailer, just the poster. I used a rule they didn’t talk about in the film. And jeez, the first half of the film was just one character after another explaining the rules of the movie they’re in. It was relentless, the meta commentary. Anyway, I solved the mystery with the Murder She Wrote/Columbo rule. I won’t say what it is, but you can look it up. I apply this rule to every mystery I watch and it’s … Continue reading Scream (2022)

Trailer Watch

This year is about two things: The book Capitali$m $uck$ and new movies. In the new budget, I’m allowing myself one new movie a week, preferably at the theater. So, when I’m avoiding working on the book, I’ll write about movies. And a big part of movie-going are the upcoming trailers. Gosh, these trailers are like little movies in that they show the whole fucking movie. So, I went to the Scream requel last night and let’s take a look at those terrible, movie-ruining trailers. Seriously, to a one, they each give away 2/3rds the plot of the films they’re … Continue reading Trailer Watch

Licorice Pizza (2021)

Fifteen-year old child actor and entrepreneur Gary Valentine has a love at first sight relationship with 25 year old Alana, a rootless school photographer assistant. She resists, but becomes friends with him because of his persistence and charm. Also, because she’s still searching for a grown-up life. Licorice Pizza is a hangout movie. There isn’t much of a plot, just various episodes, usually to showcase the bigger stars in the movie. Licorice Pizza’s also a coming-of-age story where choices, both intentional or those rarely imposed from outside, begin to define a life. And like life, the narrative almost seems random … Continue reading Licorice Pizza (2021)